One thing I have struggled with most of my life even with epilepsy is depression. Even though I know God will take care of me depression is a constant struggle. I know that I'm not the only one, there are many epileptics that have depression. This is a very common thing for people with epilepsy. See full article here on Epilepsy.com I will tell you of an experience that I had about four years ago. One day I was home alone and I was feeling very depressed. I decided at that I would try and end my life. My wife came home that day and saw me laying on the floor with a plastic bag over my head. After that I was rushed to the hospital, the later put into a mental hospital for about a week. Later that summer I found a Church that I started attending. It was great to have support of other believers. That year I started a YouTube Channel preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. Just this year I started another Channel reaching out to those who have epilepsy, and also creating awareness to those who don't understand what epileptics go through every day. I also blog as well. I still have depression, but blogging and making videos keeps my mind off of it. It's good to have something to do, weather it be a hobby or other things. One thing I have found is that through writing and helping others, helps me through my depression.
One thing I know from being an epileptic for so many years is that visits to doctors and specialists can be very costly, ever after insurance. Just for a MRI is about $500.00 after medical insurance pays. With epilepsy it seems like a never ending cycle. My VNS alone is about a $50,000.00 procedure, my insurance pays all but 2,000.00 and that doesn't include the turning on of the device and the adjustment appointments witch I have about every two weeks until my VNS is adjusted correctly. Since my surgery I have racked up an estimated $4,000.00 in medical expenses. On top of that my medication that I have to take. It is very hard for me to make it on a fixed income as an epileptic.I myself have tried to start working from home but to no success. I have and online T-Shirt Shop my sales have been slim to none. My wife works but I want to contribute to my families finances and do my part. I would go back to my old job but the amount of seizures I'm still having won't allow me to. One other thing that is quite costly is my medical supplies such as my adult diapers due to my incontinence. So you see there are a lot of expenses when it comes to epilepsy.
I just had my VNS turned on yesterday, I will tell you it's no picnic.When the generator was turned on right away I felt a jolt of electricity go up my neck and into my brain. I would have to say that I'm glad that I was sitting down because it was intense enough to knock me down. Other things I have experienced have been shortness of breath, dizziness when standing, feeling lightheaded, and sore throat. When I use the magnet the intensity is about double or triple of normal stimulation. When I went to sleep last night I woke up with a choking sensation in my throat. After waking up this morning I still felt very tired. Today I have already had two seizures, so I'm thinking that when I see the doctor in two weeks that he may have to raise the dose of electric stimulation.
I have also decided to put the helmet back on because of the breakthrough seizures that are happening. One day hope to permanently rid myself of the helmet, but now I feel it's the right thing to do right now for my personal safety.
I would like to say to those considering having a VNS implant that not everybody has bad experiences. I know some other people who I have met, that have had great results with the implant. These are just my personal experiences, and I'm only two days into this. I'm very sure that things could get better as I go along with this process. I'm just sharing this for those who may be considering getting this procedure. So you may have some things to think about before making a decision on if you would like to have VNS Therapy.
One thing I would like to talk about today is safety while bathing. A lot of people don't think of this being a big deal, but as an epileptic it is. I have heard of people having a seizure in the tub and drowning. Here are some tips to keep you safe: 1. Take a shower instead of a bath. 2.Use a shower chair or seat in case of drop attack. 3. If you have to take a bath make sure to have someone with you in the bathroom, I case of a seizure. 4. Make sure to have safety bars or railings installed in your bath tub or shower, to prevent falls.
Later that summer I found a Church that I started attending. It was great to have support of other believers. That year I started a YouTube Channel preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. Just this year I started another Channel reaching out to those who have epilepsy, and also creating awareness to those who don't understand what epileptics go through every day. 
